A lunch date

Chris called this week and wanted to catch up over lunch/dinner. Wasn't sure what my schedule was like, so I was going to have to get back to him. He asked and immediately 1,000,000 thoughts race through my mind. Can I just open up and tell him how I feel? Anyways, I ended up leaving work around 1600 and dialed his number and stopped probably 5 times before just hitting the 'call' button. I told him that I hadn't eaten lunch and was going to stop by Which Wich for lunch and then heading home and did he want to meet me there. He did! I guess thats a good sign? I went ahead and ordered and then he showed up. Butterflies race through me just looking at him. Why does everything shut down and the wall come up when feelings start to emerge? Why? Just say something! We talked over 45-60 minutes. Everything seemed ok. How exactly do you start the conversation of 'lets get back together', 'marry me'? How does that exactly roll off your tongue? Needless to say, it didn't. What is wrong with me? Why do I stay so guarded to someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with? Hasn't there been enough time that has gone by? Can't he just see how much he makes me feel like a 18 year old? If he only knew!