Random

Over the last 9 months so much has gone on in my head, my heart and my life.  For the first time in my life, I held nothing back and made myself completely vulnerable.  My outlook on alot of things changed and I was willing to do whatever it took to take the path my heart told me to take.  Fast forward 9 months.  Hard to believe...life is no where near where I wanted it to be.  However, I look back and am thankful for some very special people in my life.  I don't regret anything that I have said or done over the last nine months.  Even though family and alot of friends for a long time believed that my fairy tale would happen the way I wanted it to, they soon realised, as I have, that maybe that path wasn't supposed to be for me.  I have always stated the facts and the truth and held nothing back in talking about things to friends, whether I was right or wrong, the entire story got out.  My feelings, my wants were all out on the table for everyone to hear.  And for those of you that know me, know that it wasn't like me.

Talking to Belinda on the cruise, it was funny because in a random conversation she said "I couldn't see you NOT letting your feelings out....thats the only Michelle I know".  I have changed.  Alot of things have changed me.  I think for a better person.  Its sad that Chris lets his fear dictate his life.  I don't expect the perfect relationship and any relationship is going to have its negatives and positives, however, if you are both willing to try, Im not sure how you could go wrong.  Bull and Jenn got married a few months back....Bull has heard a shortened version of my feelings for Chris, our relationship and the last 9 months and one thing Bull said to me was "I used to be a player...do you know when I knew Jenn was the one?.... She was the first woman I could completely be myself".  Wow.  Very powerful for sure.  I remembered that statement.  I'm not sure Chris can be 'himself' with anyone.  I think he is so afraid to let out exactly how he feels.  I have asked numerous times over the first 5 months of the year that if he felt that we couldn't be together one day, to just tell me...to look me in the eyes and tell me ..because I needed to hear it.  He has never said it.  The one thing he did say that I will never forget is : 'don't count me out forever...just count me out for now'.  That is very powerful too.

I have made multiple attempts at trying to get time with him.  I have texted, emailed, etc and I get little to nothing in return.  Kind of sad when we have known each other for more than 20 years, were together for almost 3 and the fact that I told him I would marry him in a heartbeat 6 months into our relationship.  Kind of hard to go back and act like those three years never happened.  I guess what hurts is knowing that we had talked marriage, kids, houses, life, etc and he makes me feel like our relationship was something like in high-school.  Maybe to him it was.  So I guess thats why the picture at the top, is something I tell myself every day...because the Chris I knew and loved would not have just ignored or forgotten me like he has.  He would have made time, would have called, etc. so in reality it means exactly what the picture says.  It means nothing to him.

I guess he wants me to be the one that lets go, moves on and doesn't bother him any more.  I know my friends and family want that.  They are all upset with him because of how this has gone.  They all, ultimately, want me to be happy, and if was meant to be with him, they would be ecstatic, but if not, they all feel that he owed me to tell me and not string me along.

I am a great person.  I have a great family, have alot to offer and going through what I have and wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone, the person I am meant to be with will be the luckiest person in the world.  I still hold nothing back and will speak the truth and Im not afraid to tell others how I feel.

Is is that time of year again?

Believe it or not, it is!  This year we decided to get our Christmas Tree the weekend after Thanksgiving.  Usually we wait until a week or so later, but Lauren was tracking out and heading out on her venture for 3 weeks and with my work schedule, this weekend was going to be the best time to get one.  This would also let Lauren decorate before she leaves.

We LOVE going to Pop n Son every year.  They have stands throughout Raleigh and Wake County, but nothing is like going to the actual farm.  Looking through all the trees, just to find the perfect one!

After completely butchering the ceiling last year, I told the girls we couldn't get one quite as big as we did last year.  But everyone knows, I love BIG trees!  It was quite difficult last year getting it off the car, in the stand and in and out of the house...so we needed to get a smaller one this time.

The girls ended up spending about 30-45 minutes going through all the rows of trees.  We went back and forth between 3 of them.  And then we finally agreed on this one!  We had them cut a bit off the bottom, and then the funnest part-put it in the shaker.  Then we got it wrapped in red/green netting!

Allison paid and then got to pick a wreath out for FREE!  Tis the season!  I love fresh wreaths.  We've never gotten one, but I love the smell.

Every year it seems as if Pop n Son gets bigger and bigger every year.  I remember when there was a gravel driveway and a tin-covered area that you paid and that was it.  Now they have paved the driveway, a huge seperate barn where they make wreaths and garland, they are now selling hot-chocolate and the HUGE Mr. Snowman.  But its a local company and for us, its a tradition.

Now, off to the house......

Allison decided we weren't going to have the issues we had last year, and she was determined to get the tree down and in the house!

Yep, off the car it went.  Look at the pretty netting!  Are we looking like the Griswold's yet?

Allison then realized she wasn't sure how she was going to get down.........

Finally, I got to do something...cut the netting!  The girls wanted to do everything else!

Oh wait, they needed me for something else....to hold up the tree!  At least Im good for something!  In the stand it went and in the house they went.

Allison wanted to finish cutting the netting......next up.....DECORATE!  I absolutely L O V E this time of year....it really is magical.  I love having the girls here, everyone is getting along...there is something truly amazing about this time of year.  The next month is going to be great!

Black Friday with the Crazies...

As we anticipated Black Friday shopping, we waited to see what store was going to be open the earliest!  Target came out with a MIDNIGHT opening.  MIDNIGHT?  Are you freaking kidding me?  Last year was 0400 and then Kohls announced 0300.  Midnight?  Im still in shock.  So the next thing was to see what Kohls had in mind.  Yep, midnight as well!  Ugghhh!  So much confusion!  So we then needed to plan our strategy.  We decided we would hit Kohls first.  We loaded the car and headed to Kohls a little before midnight.  Even though we were out shopping there was nothing we were going to trample anyone for.

I will say Kohls had 'security' guards stationed every 5 feet or so...the line was from the far entrance of Kohls, all the way to the end of the shopping center.  Then when it was midnight, instead of opening BOTH sets of entrances, they chose to only open one.  It was going to take 30 minutes to get people in line actually in the store.  Then we noticed that Five Below was open!  Who was the genius that thought of that!  SCORE!  They weren't supposed to open until 0500, but they ended up clearly being the winners here. 

We went through, and in a short time, there was already a line to check out, however, with their four registers, they were way faster than any other store with this many people in line!  These guys were having fun!

Off to Kohl's we went...now, at least, the line was IN the store!  There wasn't really anything specific, however, we ended up picking stuff up and then got in line.  This year we started 1/2 way around the store.  You couldn't even see the registers!  Woohoooo Now THIS is what Black Friday is all about! :)

We ended up picking up stuff while waiting in line.  This is worse than the check-out candy for sure.

Um....I think they need to UPDATE this time!  And I didn't see a 'fast-pass' line to get in!

From this view, we can see just about where we started....we were all the way in the back and to the right! 

W I N~!!!!!! We made it out!  Now--off to the next store!

Crazy Target lady, here we come!  We missed all the zip-tieing the buggy's and mad dash for all electronics....or at least we thought!

We all split up when we get in and as I am wandering through electronics, I see a familiar face.  Dawn had been outside in line since 2330...it is now almost 0300 and she is still in line in electronics.  The poor electronics cashiers - I would almost offer them a drink every 30 minutes just to keep them 'enjoying' their jobs!  Dawn said her daughter was not too happy about now!~

Finally, after the buggy was filled and we headed to check out, again, Target wins for the ease of checking out!  And this year they even added arrows just in case you questioned which direction you needed to go.  Because at this hour, Im sure there are some people that are delirious!

Allison was reviewing selections of pet accessories! :)

We are still going......I think its about 0500 and we are heading to Cary Towne Center!

Justin didn't know I was shopping too!  We had to get a photo!

The shoe nightmare was a little - CRAZY!  Boxes flying everywhere, toppling over, people trampling each other!  Really people?  For shoes?  Well, I hate to say that I would do the same thing, IF there had been a pair I would have wanted!

Through the mall we went....then I ran into Snooki!  I mean....my pose is way better than hers!  I mean really?

This is what the Cary Towne Center looks like at 0530 on a Friday!  Kind of crazy.  Looks like its 1200.  It totally threw me off because of shopping last year...it felt like it should be 1000.  Lets get home and go to BED!

Carnival Dream-Sunday At Sea

Carnival Dream-Saturday

2011 NC State Fair

Saturday, got there early (before 0930) and headed in to buy Allison's apples first thing!  Last year, they had sold all of them and they weren't making any more.  This year they didn't have any of hers out yet, but were going to make her 2.  So we were going to pick them up on the way out.  Next stop..the Mini-doughnut lady, of course!

Wait...Mom and Lauren found fudge!  Gotta buy fudge, ya know.  Ok...so ON our way to the Mini-doughnut lady....the cakes!

The produce man was my favorite!    They had a few different ones and we each liked a different one!

As we were walking through all the food stands I hear someone yell "MICHELLE FRENCH" and as I turned around I saw Diana.  I had just said something about where she was working like 5 minutes prior.  Weird, huh?  Usually Diana takes the 10 days off from the Fair and sells in an apple stand but this year she was selling fudge!  Yum Yum!

Yep, one of the new items this year....FRIED KOOLAID!  We didn't try it!

Yep, Lauren got Grandma on the ride!  Watching her almost made me need a diaper!  Too funny.  She was hilarious to watch!

We were imitating Nick, who earlier in the week had showed his dedication to his daughter by riding the Ferris Wheel.  But we made it and got to go around for quite a long time.  Guess it was because there weren't too many people there.....YET!

Lauren and I had decided to get our ride tickets out of the way before attempting to eat all the food we had planned on eating.

I tried taking pictures as the ride was going round and round...as you can see, I didn't do a very good job.  But it was fun and we laughed hysterically the entire time!

And any NC State Fair wouldn't be the same without the Mini-doughnut lady.  As I reminded her, its always my first stop and I had been talking about it for weeks on Facebook.  The one food I always have room for.  Hot and cinnamon-y.  Yum Yum

We always have to see the biggest pumpkin.  Thats almost as important as the mini-doughnuts. ha ha.  But it is a sight for everyone.  Surprised we were to find out that the watermelon that won, was won by a guy from Garner.  And then we found out that 2 other ribbon-winning pumpkins were from the same guy.  All over 250 pounds a piece.  Not sure what soil he is growing his pumpkins in or what food he is feeding them....but maybe he needs to share his secrets.

The kid decorated pumpkins are always fun to look at too.  This one made me think of Allison.  Pumpkin pi?  ha ha ha...cute.  There were alot of cute ones.  Too many to show on the blog.

Our last stop is always the NC State ice-cream.  Too yummy!  And the weather was perfect.  Not too hot, not too cold and the crowds weren't totally unbearable by this time but it was starting to get very busy!

On the way to pick up Allisons apples we went past the other 'new' item this year.  Cupcakes shaped like a hot-dog.  Little did I know that they made all of these that are ALL cupcakes.  I was too full to eat one.

Of course, before we got home Allison was texting reminding me not to forget her apples!  I am such a great Mom!  A great day at the Fair.  We always have fun!